I keep thinking and pondering random thoughts in my head..here's a glimpse of my private reality that rolls through my head....literally in this order.
'wow, will I have any downtime with 2 kids?
'will Hannah sleep when Luke is sleeping?'
'I gotta get them both on a good schedule cuz I'm going to need some downtime'
'Is my life over?'
'I think it is'
'Lord, am I being selfish thinking like this?'
'I'm so getting a nannie'
'I'm worried Jon won't help pull the weight of having 2 kids'
'God I hope she's healthy'
'Lord, please...I don't think I can handle another special needs child'
'I know, I know...You're in control God'
'how am I going to leave the house now?'
'I so gotta get a nannie'
'ugh...I gotta start working in 6-8 weeks or we will go broke'
'how am I going to get Luke to school on time with a new baby?'
'I think my life is over'.
'I really do'
'help Lord, help me deal with this transition..I'm nervous about this'
'God I hope we can come home with a baby on Sat.'
'ok Lord, just deal with me..deal with Jon...deal with Hannah and Luke'.
'Just be there for us...K?'
'Love you Father..I just need You.'.
So, there you go. Above are my thoughts. My wrestle with God I suppose. And myself! Praying all will go ok and honestly praying that God be with us even in the midst of our doubts of what the future holds..big stuff and little. I do feel your prayers blog family. Please keep praying.
Love you much---ok..be back with nursery stuff the next post.
hugs,
A
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